advice: unsolicited

As soon as Luke and I began telling people that we were pregnant, the floodgates of advice burst open.

Everyone felt the need to share with us their breastfeeding methods, diaper brands, sleeping methods, ways to parent, how to register, where to register, when to register, what to register for, discipline methods, and on and on an on the list goes.

Luke and I just laugh because none of what was told to us was actually asked-for advice.

I take that back.

I sent the bump’s “suggested registry checklist” to Heather for advice on what I actually needed vs. what they were telling me I needed.

Other than that though, I didn’t ask for any of the advice sent my way.

Even still, I was and still am able to sift through what everyone tells me, and keep what I’m interested in, and throw the rest of it away.

However.

The one thing that bothers me the most is advice on labor and delivery.

Now, I need you to prepare yourself for what I’m about to tell you. Are you ready? Are you sitting down?

I plan on going all-natural.

I know, I know. The horror. Why would I do that when I don’t have to?

I actually have my reasons, but you don’t need to know those, right?

With the exception of right here, on my blog, I have decided not to share that with people anymore. I cannot tell you how unendingly aggravating it is to have people attempt to talk me out of it, tell me why it’s a mistake, look at me as though I’m an alien, or tell me about how absolutely horrible the pain will be, thus causing me to beg for an epidural within minutes of arriving to the hospital.

I think that, of the people I’ve told that I plan to go natural {I get asked a lot, I guess that’s a normal question to ask?}, only three have encouraged me in my endeavor. I can actually name them. Are you ready? My mom {who did it with 4 of her 5 children, 2 of whom are twins, one of whom weighed TEN + POUNDS}, my mom’s cousin Angela, and my friend Carrie. You want to know something interesting? They’re all still alive.

Shocker.

I guess what I’m trying to say in all of this, is that giving advice to someone, no matter what your intentions, really isn’t necessary at all. Unless of course, you’re asked for it. After that, blather on my friend.

I am curious though, how many of you went the way of natural child birth? Do share.

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10 Responses to “advice: unsolicited”


  1. 1 Meghan April 21, 2011 at 8:38 am

    You go girl!! My first I was frightened and had an epidural. My last 2 I couldn’t have one, had them all natural and if I were to have another child with the option of an epidural, I would NOT GET IT! Sure it’s painful, but don’t we all know that going in? And the recovery is a thousand times easier without having had it! You can totally do it!!!! :)

  2. 2 Kelley April 21, 2011 at 9:38 am

    I had an epidural for my first – I couldn’t feel a thing. Which was good, but also bad because I felt very detached from the actual delivery. I chose to go natural with my second and I got the same kind of responses you are getting. The labor and delivery nurses at the hospital even tried to talk me out of it. Yes, it’s painful. Did I get through it? Yes. And it is a much more fulfilling experience when you really feel everything. Not to mention how much faster my recovery was. You should go for it!

  3. 3 Heather April 21, 2011 at 11:36 am

    Laura, go you! I think that’s wonderful. My plan was to do exactly that, but other circumstances prevailed. I’ll repeat what others have said, it really doesn’t matter how the baby gets here, as long as he/she does and they are healthy! We can’t wait to meet your little one!

  4. 4 Ellen April 21, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    I had an epideral with all three and had AMAZING birth experiences (and quick recoveries) but that’s just me. You do whatever you (and your hubby) want to do (about any of the above listed issues that come with children – feeding, discipline, sleeping, organized sports…).

    My advice, which is also the advice I give myself, is PRAY! (Never fear I’m praying for you and your Hubby and your baby too!) You and your family will come to different conclusions then anyone else you know – just seek the Lord! (And if you happen to want my opinion on ANYTHING, just ask – I love to talk about my kids!)

  5. 5 Emily April 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    My mom went natural for all 10 of her children, and she would HIGHLY recommend it. Good for you, as I want to go natural with my births someday if God gives me children!

  6. 6 DDTM April 21, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    LLA,
    We support you. K delivered our baby naturally and she was only half the size your baby will be.

    :)

  7. 7 the momma April 21, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    I had 1/2 a shot of demerol with the first and nothing with the second. I think it’s a personal decision. You go girl.

  8. 8 lifelemons April 22, 2011 at 11:20 am

    I’m glad you are going natural; you’re tough and can take it! As we’ve talked about before you are better off, you saw how they screwed up the birth of Hannah and we don’t need anything like that happening to you!!!

  9. 9 Krista April 22, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    I almost commented on the co sleeping post but didn’t because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to put into words …that I wanted to encourage you to not make a decision that you would have to keep because of pride :) I did that with my first (didn’t let her sleep with us because of a stubborn heart) and struggled with the 2nd with a non sleeping baby and let the next 3 sleep with us during the seemingly “nurse all night” seasons (and was 100x more rested than with the first 2 babies)…but all have transitioned beautifully into their own rooms. Just a reminder that many cultures co-sleep and still have spouse as their number 1 priority after God. (Ma and Pa Ingalls didn’t have a cradle in the big woods) Someone once told me if you and your husband are united in your decision and you are both getting adequate rest…that is what matters. (with all things)

    Something to consider (I wrestle with this) Does meeting your child’s needs (day or night) make them self centered and more needy OR more compassionate and able to give of themselves???

    so that was unsolicited advice…more to add to your pile :)

    Regarding childbirth:
    5 babies and no pain medication. All healthy. 1 born in the hospital and doctor directed pushing= HUGE tearing.
    4 born at home with mom directed pushing NO tearing.
    Last baby was 10 pounds 2 ounces. All babies born at home were much larger than my 6 pound baby at hospital.
    2 books that are fantastic in regards to choosing a less invasive birth for you and your baby.
    Pushed by Jennifer Block
    Born in the USA by Marsden Wagner
    I’m not a 100% all natural organic purist…but have loved bringing my babies into the world without drugs and invasive procedures that have risks that we are not told about.
    Many blessings to you and your husband and your baby!

  10. 10 relaxmassageandreiki April 30, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    Three babies, one with one shot for pain the other two natural. My labors were very difficult. There was damage with my middle child. I healed it took close to six months to heal. That had nothing to do with not having medication. That was a stupid doctor. My third child was born with massage. I highly recommend this. Yep it is painful at the time. After without stitches you feel wonderful. Pure Bliss!

    My advice? Have a doctor you love and trust. Have a supportive birth team. Have a back up plan. Oh, lots of food in the freezer! If you feel like cooking, you won’t want to. You will want to hold that baby and pat yourself on the back. You are a great mom.


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