Archive for the 'love' Category

ethan “the rockstar”


this is ethan.

last wednesday evening, he suffered from a low-grade fever that led to seizures and cardiac arrest.  at the hospital, he was revived and remained in a coma for the next several days. there was no history of this. it came out of the middle of nowhere.

ethan passed away the other day – he’s with Jesus now, but his parents are left with an emptiness i can’t comprehend. and i hope i never do. this has rocked my mommy heart to its very core. i am just so unbelievably heart-broken for this family. i’ve never met them, but i feel like i need to do something.

so i’m asking you to give to this family. if you can. they’ve been left with some medical expenses in the wake of this tragedy, and it would be great if we could all band together to take care of this for them so that it’s something they don’t even have to think about.

but also.

please pray for them. they need prayer right now more than anything. for God to sustain them and fill the hole in their heart. as only He can do.




marcus is only 8 months old and i think about this all the time.

every new thing he does.

every milestone he achieves.

they’re reminders that we’re leaving behind precious moments that i can never get back.

days that pass slowly, or when i’m frustrated with this, that, or the other thing – it’s when i need this reminder the most.

God willing, we have so much ahead of us.

but i don’t ever want to forget where we’ve been.

and i certainly don’t want to rush through where we are.

a different kind of love

this little boy made me a mama almost nine months ago.

my life has changed so much since then and in only the best ways.

just after he was born and everyone was fussing with him, my own mama came over to me with the biggest smile on her face and said “it’s like a completely different kind of love, isn’t it?”

it was such a beautiful moment because i knew exactly what she meant, but also because i got to see a glimpse of my own mother, as a 23-year-old woman, experiencing that feeling for the first time in her life. i got to watch her re-live one of the most moving experiences she’s had.

this weekend i will celebrate being a mama, and i will celebrate my mama with a kinship we’ve never had before. i know now. and i appreciate her so much more.

so to all the mamas, new and not-so-new. to the soon-to-be-mamas who don’t quite know of the love i’m referring to:

happy mother’s day. you mean so much to someone.

when everything else changes

there’s not a lot about our pre-marcus life that has stuck around.

in fact, i’m having a hard time thinking of anything that’s remained the same since he came into our lives. {this is not a bad thing}


our starbucks dates.

when i get one of these lovelies in the mail

we go get one of these lovelies and our tummies are happy.

and, so are we.

a little break

My hubby is home after being away for a month.

So blogging is taking a back seat this week to spending much-needed quality time together as a family.

Priorities people, priorities.

See ya next Monday!


wish list

I already miss:

1. Cuddling on the couch. Watching a show, talking, or just enjoying the silence.

2. Lots and lots of kissing. And things that kissing leads to.

3. Fighing over the covers.

4. Watching Marcus’ face light up when Luke talks to or plays with him.

5. Holding hands.

6. Tripping over his shoes.

7. Turning off the bathroom light because he always forgets to.

8. His voice.

9. The dimple on his cheek.

10. Falling asleep in his arms.

Love your love today, the day after Valentine’s Day, and every day, ok? And for all of the military spouses who can’t.

before we become three

I am quickly approaching my due date, and although I’m under no illusions that our son will actually show up on time, I’m becoming increasingly aware of the fact that this. is. it.

I wanted babies from the start. Right from the beginning. And you wanted to wait.

So we waited.

And it was good that we waited. Because you were deployed for a year not long into our marriage, and then you were in the police academy for 6 months, and during all of this, we {well, mostly I} were living with my parents.

Can you imagine a baby in all of that insanity?

We’ll be married 5 years this September, and although that’s just a flash in the pan in the grand scheme, it is a decent chunk of time that seems to have flown by so quickly. So, so quickly.

I still feel like we just got married.

And now we’re adding a baby to the mix, and while I’m just thrilled to pieces to meet him a snuggle him and kiss him etc. I can’t help but to feel a little bittersweet at the change.

It’s not going to be just us anymore. And I love us.

So, before we become three, I just want you to know that these last five years have been so much fun. I’ve learned so much about you and me and what makes us tick. I’ve learned a tremendous amount about grace and forgiveness because you reflect those things so well. I’ve cried more than I ever have, but I’ve also laughed more. I’ve woken up {later than I will for a long, long time} next to the most wonderful man in the world. I’ve memorized your smell, the sound of your voice, the color of  your skin and hair, and that adorable dimple on your cheek. I’ve had more fun that I thought possible on dates and vacations. We’ve talked endlessly about everything and nothing. We’ve had an incredible amount of freedom that I’m beginning to see that we’ve taken for granted, but what young couple doesn’t?

And then, on December 5, 2010, we learned that we were to become parents. We moved through all of the stages; shock, disbelief, excitement, excitement, and more excitement. And, ok, some fear and panic as well. And we did it together. Like I hope and pray we’ll always do things. Together.

I can’t wait to meet our little man, our Bambino, and I know you can’t either.

But before we become three, I hope you know that I have loved being just two.

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