I’m 34 weeks pregnant today.

I’m thrilled to be coming to the end because I simply can’t wait to meet my son, but I’m beginning to feel a sense of uneasiness as well.

I’m kind of the type of person with a “shoot now, ask questions later” personality. I’ve never been afraid to jump in and do something, with the hope that all of the little details will work themselves out in the end. This usually works for me. But pregnancy/having a child is a completely different story.

Not that we jumped into having a baby. Our 5 year anniversary is in September and this is our first, but I didn’t really think about what having a baby would really mean for us.

First – it won’t just be the two of us anymore. In spite of our almost-five-years of marriage, we’ve not really enjoyed “just the two of us” time. He was deployed a year, then in the police academy for another 6 months. We lived with my parents for a while. All things that really take away from just being a young, carefree married couple.

But that’s not even really what I’m worried about. We’ll adjust. I know it.

We have to bring this precious little gift home and do the best we can while we have him to raise him to know Jesus. To love Jesus. So that every aspect of how he thinks and acts reflects the love and grace and mercy under which he has been covered. This is an intense burden to bear. A burden that I take very seriously. One that keeps me awake after a trip to the potty in the middle of the night. One that I pray about constantly.

We have other hopes and dreams for him {um, hello, he IS going to play for the Pittsburgh Steelers one day} but they all pale in comparison to this.

I want him to love God deeper than I ever have, to do more for his name than I ever dreamed possible. To reflect that love to the world around him.

I know I’m not alone in this. That, as he always does, my Heavenly Father will walk me through this. He’s given me an incredible husband who will walk through this parenting thing with me as well. I just need to relax and trust.

And pray. A lot.

4 Responses to “34”

  1. 1 Sheri June 29, 2011 at 9:37 am

    That was awesome, Laura!

  2. 2 Ellen June 29, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    This is why when we, the covenant family, stand up during a baptism service, we are not just “going through the motions” we are promising to help parents raise their kids to know, love and fear Christ. Before I became a parent, I was like “yeah yeah yeah, just hold up the cute baby”, but since Matthew arrived, I am almost in tears each time. There are a lot of us who, like you, take teaching our faith very seriously, many who have gone before and are here to help! From diaper rash to discipline, many who will be praying for your family and are just a phone call away. So excited for all that God will teach you as a Mommy – I just know you’re going to be great!

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