fashion friday: maternity clothes i would not be caught dead in

One of the first things I did upon finding out that I was pregnant {besides crying and screaming for my husband to “Come here right now and look at this test!!!”} was to hop onto the interwebs and see what kind of “fashion” I could sink my teeth into while with child. There’s lots of good stuff out there. Flaunting “the bump” is completely In Vogue these days which is great, but making the bump look bigger and uglier than it is {and things surrounding the bump, like thighs, bum, arms, chin…..etc} isn’t something I’m down with. Here are some of the worst things I’ve found so far:

 

Ruffled Plaid Shirt – Now, anyone who knows me, knows I love a good ruffle. But combined here with this AWEFUL plaid pattern and the fact that it runs right smack down the center of the pregnant belly, why, it just makes me want to smack my mama.

Knotted Top – I just don’t think I have the right words to describe my disdain toward this shirt. Firstly, nothing should ever be knotted around a pregnant woman’s breasts. Ever. But the way it knots, pulls the bottom of the shirt to far away from the belly making it look bigger. And I hate that collar. What’s with that?

One-shouldered Monstrosity – The print, the color, and the fact that even the skinniest of pregnant women would look bad showing ALL of one arm are reasons enough to eliminate this from anything I would consider wearing.

Belly-Enhancing Dress – I think the thing that bothers me most about this dress is the band underneath of the belly. It’s like a sack of potatoes or something. And don’t even get me started on the bow that draws attention toward the child-bearing hips.

Mini-Skirt – I saved the best for last. Why, why in the name of all that is holy would you ever consider wearing a mini-skirt while pregnant? This is not Pretty Woman. Nor is this 16 and Pregnant. Please, oh please, avoid making this mistake at all costs. Thank you.

Ick. There’s so much more out there that I find appalling. Fortunately, there’s also plenty I’m in love with. But none of these things are on that list.

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7 Responses to “fashion friday: maternity clothes i would not be caught dead in”


  1. 1 Kaila January 14, 2011 at 11:08 am

    hahahaa You are so funny and those are all horrrrible!!! Yuck!!

  2. 2 lifelemons January 14, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Man, I guess I better return that off-the-shoulder shirt I bought you, darn!

  3. 3 Kellee Roskovensky March 21, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    Most department stores have a maternity clothing section. You can also shop at specialty maternity stores, which are likely to have a larger selection of styles and sizes. Because a lot of women don’t need to hang onto their maternity clothing, consignment stores can also have a wide selection of gently-used, still-trendy items. :

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