walking a fine line

If I close my eyes, I can still see it.

It was Easter Sunday of this year.

I was wearing a coral-colored shirt {unusual for my wardrobe} and a brown skirt.

And I looked fat.

I remember looking at pictures of Easter Sunday with my cousin and thinking that I’ve never looked worse. I was scared straight.

I’ve shared my “struggles” to lose weight over the years on this blog. I hate to say struggle, because I’ve never really had more than 50 pounds to lose, and compared to some, that number is laughable. To others, it’s gross.

To me, it was gross.

So, I started eating healthy and exercising. More specifically, running.

I’ve never been a runner. But I was challenged by a wonderful man who goes to my church to just run 30 minutes for 30 days. He said that after 30 days, anything can become a habit.

And I started to actually enjoy running.

So since Easter-ish time, I’ve lost 20 pounds. I’m not in a hurry to lose, I want to do it the right way, and in such a way that I never gain the weight back again. I’ve even gone so far as to get rid of every piece of “fat clothing” I had {don’t worry, I donated them} so that I don’t have an excuse to gain it back.

I’m trying really hard to be healthy about this.

No fad diets, no pills, nothing but a balanced diet and at least 30 minutes of running/exercise 3ish times a week. {this varies depending on how early 6:30 am feels to me} I think I’m succeeding, but I struggle sometimes.

I struggle to not beat myself up for occasionally eating something that’s not completely healthy.
I struggle with looking in the mirror, and instead of being proud of my success, thinking of all of the work I still have to do.
I struggle with weighing myself every day to make absolutely sure that I’m not gaining weight. At all.

But I’m really proud of myself too. It’s like a switch in my head was flipped and now I can’t imagine living a life where fast food, chips, soda, donuts and anything else unhealthy, are a regular part of my diet. I’m shocked that they ever were.

Every day is a battle. A struggle to keep the scale {the figurative one} balanced. To not dip into one extreme or the other.

But I’ve come so far, so fast. I know I can do it.


6 Responses to “walking a fine line”

  1. 1 harmonicprogression November 10, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    keep going… KEEP GOING! :)

  2. 2 Kaila November 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Keep it up!!! You look fantastic! = )

  3. 3 Ellen November 10, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    You do look great and you are well on your way to your goal! I’ll pray for you when I run… that you’ll continue to find the motivation to do so yourself!

  4. 4 fancythis November 11, 2010 at 8:05 am

    thanks so much everyone!!!! you’re encouragment is it’s own kind of motivation! :)

  5. 5 melissa from girlymama November 11, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    seriously. you look FANTASTIC. Keep going!!!!!

  6. 6 lifelemons November 12, 2010 at 7:54 am

    I’m so proud of you! You look terrific!

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