forgetting your spoon: a tutorial

Since the local beach is only an hour and a half away, we (my mom and dad, really) have mastered the art of the Day Trip. Yes, it is an art.

We pack more towels than we’ll all need, just in case. (Just in case what, I don’t know. A hurricane? A tidal wave? The ocean, or a person could steal one, I suppose.)

We pack lunch. I don’t mean a measly sandwich for each person. I mean sandwiches and fruit and snacks. We practically bring a 3-course meal with us. (That was the women’s idea, and we don’t have to carry the 3,469-pound cooler. Genius.)

We stay until after the lifeguards go off-duty. Until around 4:30 or 5:00. (We get our money’s worth from the $4 we’re charged to park all day)

The most important thing that we do: We picked a beach that has real live showers on-site. This is crucial, my friends. Kids are obnoxious after a long day at the beach. (okay, they’re generally obnoxious after any day-long activity) Add in sandy dirty bathing suits and you’ve got yourself a reason to never take your kids anywhere. Ever. Again. But! Shower them off (with like, shampoo and soap and stuff, don’t just rinse them in the water, you may as well have rinsed them in the ocean) and then they’re fresh and clean and they just sleep the whole hour and a half home and when you get home, you just throw them in bed. Piece of cake.

Since birth, this is the method that my parents have used, and it’s fool-proof, I tell you. So, now I use the method whenever I go.

Every now and then, since I’m not the perfection that is my mother, I make an error and the system goes on its head.

This time – my sister and I remembered our yogurt, but not the spoons. However, my sister is an inventive one. She just graduated high school, so she’s got more fresh intelligence in her head then I, and she came up with the following plan:

Step one: remove the foil lid from the yogurt cup. (and then take a pretty picture of it. Look! A turquoise fingernail!)

Step two: Form a scooping form with the lid. (and then take another picture of it. Notice the use of light and shadows. Look! It’s the turquoise fingernail again!)

Step three: Scoop the yogurt out with your newly fashioned scooping apparatus. (after you’ve placed the yogurt cup in between your knees so that you can take a picture of it with the lovely turquoise fingernail, of course.)

Step four: Take a moment to enjoy your sister’s moment of genius as you realize that a foil lid is actually better at scooping yogurt than a real live spoon. (also realize that you may have been sitting in the sun too long. But look! the turquoise fingernail is still there!)

Step five: Enjoy!

I hope you feel as if you’ve learned something new today. Although I can’t promise to be the one to educate others. I did, after all, forget the spoons.

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