I have these great shoes.
They’re from Bakers shoe store, they’re black, almost-five-inches, and peep toes.
AAAAHHHHH peep toes.
I remember, as a child in Sunday school in the late 80’s, peep toes were the shizzle. For real, yo. I’m pretty sure every Sunday school teacher wore them (well after the trend faded as well, unfortunately) and I can even remember one lady who had light pink polish on her toenails, albeit chipped light pink polish, underneath her pantyhose. PANTYHOSE my friends. Remember those days?
Anyway. Peep toes came back with a vengance a couple years back and now everything is a peep toe. Heck, I’ll bet there’s even a peep toe sneaker out there somewhere.
(I had to google it. You can’t just throw a comment like that out into the blogosphere without doing some kind of research. This was the closest I found to a pee-toe sneaker. It’s more like a sneak-wedge-peep. Or a peep-sneak-wedge. Or a…you get the idea.)
So I bought my lovely black ones, because they’re sort of classic (although, at 2nd glance I’m wondering if they don’t look a bit street-cornerish) and I love shoes. It’s a terrible thing really. Just going to Bakers’ website gives me this strange impulse to dig my credit card out of my wallet.
But I didn’t come here to talk about shoes.
Well, not really.
Remember my traffic “incident”?
Yeah, that’s what I’m really here for.
Leading up to the court date, I was surprisingly calm. Usually when I have something so terrifying on my schedule, I’m a bit uneasy (read: petrified) and tend to think way too much about it. But I was calm, and I’ll take that blessing. Even on the morning of the court date I was easy-going. I picked out a fabulous outfit the night before that was trendy and classic all at once, and I laid out my fabulous peep-toes for that added punch. I made it through the morning just fine, but one I got into my car to drive to the courthouse, panic set in. Even my shoes couldn’t comfort me.
I kept thinking about how I would probably end up with the “no-nonsense” female judge and I could just imagine her yelling at me for being in contempt of court, and then being shackled and taken away to jail, sans peep-toes. By the time I had to put quarters in the parking meeter outside of the courthouse, I was literally shaking.
I made my way into courtroom 2, and sat in the same row as various and sundry types of criminals. I looked up at the judge’s chair……seat…..throne? and noticed the name of the, of course, female judge, and waited for the show to start. Some lady came out and read the docket, on which I was one of the last names, and it was at this point that I was on the verge of hyperventilation.
Finally, the judge made her appearance in some fabulous reading glasses, and then court began. I’ve gotta tell you, it’s nothing like what you see in A Few Good Men. No one’s yelling “You can’t handle the truth!” or jumping around the court room like a monkey. It was really disappointing, actually.
Nonetheless, things were moving quickly, and before I knew it, my name was called.
I went over to the defendant’s side of the court room, plead guilty with an explanation, told her my woeful tale of running late for work and being the only person available to answer phones, and all she said to me was “Well, because of how fast you were going (77 in a 40) I’m not going to give you probation before judgement. I will drop it down to 49 in a 40, which is a 1 point violation.” (as opposed to the FIVE points I was facing)
You know how sometimes in life, you’re so scared/relieved/shocked/drunk that you can’t help but let your true self be shown? Yeah. Court is an odd place for one of those moments to happen, letmetellyou.
“THANK YOU SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!” was my reply. Just like that. In caps and all. With the exclamation points.
The judge actually giggled and said, “Alright, go over to the bench and the bailiff will bring you your paperwork.”
And just like that, it was over.
On my way out the door, I walked by a deputy who was gawking at my shoes, and I realized that he was thinking the same thing I was…..
With shoes like that, how can you not (almost) get away with anything?