an essay on insanity

“Let’s go to Lancaster” she said.

And that’s all it takes really. That one little prompt from the best friend recalls great memories from the deepest recesses of my brain.

I’m not sure if you know – so I’ll tell you, of course – but Lancaster is this sweet little Amish town (there’s more people in Lancaster than the Amish, but it’s how I’ve always known it, so I refer to it as the Amish town) in SouthEastern part of Pennsylvania that has excellent shopping, fabulous food, and more charm than any person knows what to do with in one afternoon.

We try to visit once every month or two because even if you only end up grabbing a bite to eat and then leaving, more fun is had than if you had just stayed at home.

Since she has a newborn who’s still nursing, Lemons decided to bring the little tyke along. Infants aren’t really all that much trouble on a shopping trips so I wasn’t concerned.

The day of, it was decided that she would be bringing her toddler along as well. Again, I wasn’t terribly concerned. Sure, she’s a toddler, but between 3 adults (my little sister came too) we could surely handle any challenge we faced.

“What do you need from there?” I asked her.
“Just a mantle for my fireplace and a console table for my foyer” she replied.
“Oh cool! I’m looking for a bench for my foyer. And maybe some baskets. And also some really cool pots for flower arrangements in the house.”

So, we knew our mission, and we were ready to execute. We piled into her minivan: 3 adults, 1 toddler, and an infant.

The day started off smoothly with a great breakfast and wonderful success finding both Lemons’ mantle and her console table.

What we failed to plan for was the following:

-Toddlers get cranky
-Infants need to be fed – regularly
-All of the items that we desired to purchase took up more space than we actually had

Once we made our way over to the Pottery Barn Outlet (where I got this bench – in large! – for sixty dollars) all of these things became abundantly clear. Abundantly. Lemons and my sister tended to the children while I tried, quite unsuccessfully, to load my new bench into the van and make it fit with the other items that Lemons purchased.

After about 15 minutes (yes, 15 minutes. A special thanks to the people in the vehicle behind us for sitting, watching, and laughing. You’re encouragement is what got me through. No, seriously) the kid who works for the Outlet (whose help I initially declined) came back to the van where I stood, red-faced and using language in my head that would make Paul Sr. from that show Orange County Choppers on TLC cringe, and said, “Hey why don’t you take the legs off of that console table.” After which, in about 45 seconds, he took all of the legs off of the console and my bench slid in like butta. Sigh.

We all had a good chuckle at my expense – including the lovely folks in the car behind us, because they hadn’t laughed enough! – and made our way over to Sonic for some lunch.

Have you ever been to Sonic? If not you should go, because sweetlemonade are there drinks fantastic! They have all these different flavored syrups that you can add to any fountain soda they have and boy is it tasty. Vanilla Coke? You’ve got it! Bubblegum Root Beer? (yes, bubblegum rootbeer…you’re curious now, right? go ahead, try it) Comin’ right up!

Since the closest Sonic to where we live is about 45 minutes away, we decided to try everything on the menu. Supersized. In double. The poor kid who brought our food out to us needed an assistant. To look at what he brought out, one would have been forced to assume that we had the van packed with adults. Nope.

Aren’t you sorry that you didn’t come with us? You would be even more sorry if I had told you the story of how I managed to get the aforementioned bench into my tiny little Toyota Corolla. I know right? It’s like we left our brains at home or something.

Eh, we didn’t have room for them anyway.

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2 Responses to “an essay on insanity”


  1. 1 lifelemons February 24, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    I think I might have just died laughing! Lest we forget I tried to back said Corolla out of the drive with the parking brake on, in the snow! What a great day!

  2. 2 http://www.valigiapronta.altervista.org September 21, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    I don’t write a ton of comments, but i did a few searching and wound up here an essay on insanity | sunny side of life.
    And I actually do have a couple of questions for you if you tend not
    to mind. Is it simply me or does it look like a few of these remarks come across like
    they are coming from brain dead people? :-P And, if you are writing on additional places, I’d lke to
    follow everything new you have to post. Could
    you list of all oof your shared pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?


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