While I appreciate what a difficult job you have, I must say that I am a smidgen annoyed with you.
I’ll start with the obvious.
You took my husband away from me after we had only been married a year. I’m sure that somewhere out there, there is a couple who were separated the day after they got married, and while I’m sympathetic, let’s be honest, I’m a little more concerned with my own marital well being. When my husband and I had our 2 year anniversary earlier this month, we were not together to celebrate it, and now we’re getting to the point where my husband will have been away for half of our entire marriage. I know that the divorce rate in the military is some astronomically high number, but my husband and I actually like each other, and while I’m certain that you’re more than willing to change this, I’d like to keep it the same.
I’m sure you’re aware of the current “dip” in the real estate market. I know this is super-sucky for current homeowners who are trying to ditch their current digs to move up in the world, but for first-time home-buyers, this market is like heaven on earth. My husband and I, upon his return, will be first-time-home-buyers. I know you’re wondering why I’m complaining. I’m not done. Y’see, as it turns out, when you took my husband away from me, he was seconds away from receiving a job offer in a field in which he wants to work. However, he didn’t take it because you were taking him away and so therefore, he is stuck in the same civilian job he had that he hates which pays him half of what you’re paying (at least you’ve managed to get one thing right!) him and incidentally what he should be making in a regular civilian job. This means that upon his return home, he’ll have to start the job hunt/apply all over again in this same field. A field which is hard to just jump into. A field that takes about a year and a half-ish from initial application submission to hire. Ergo, we will not be able to take advantage of this terrible real estate market without a decent paying job. So, we’d love to have you over for dinner at our shack once the market inevitably climbs out of this pit of despair at the precise moment my husband gets hired for his perfect civilian job.
Now, it seems that you’ve managed to sink your nasty claws into my little brother. He joined the Navy and soon, you will be taking him away from me for 4 very long years. Four years in which there will be Thanksgivings and Christmases, summer vacations and maybe, just maybe, the birth(s) of 1 (or more?) niece(s)/nephew(s). You managed to promise him everything but Donald Trump’s fortune to join, and I’m here to tell you that if you even think about reneging on any of these promises, I will go all Cindy Sheehan on you, ya hear?
By the way, since you now have my husband and my brother, you’re not getting anyone else. Not one more person. Not a cousin, a nephew, or a son. And you’re certainly not going to be getting my other little brother. I don’t care if he wants to be a marine. He can just keep playing football, it’s kind of the same, right?
P.S. Oh! And thanks for possibly letting my hubby come home a little earlier than planned. You know, gotta mix a little good in with the bad!