they knocked me out even though I saw ’em coming

Before husband and I got married, I knew full well what I was getting myself into.

I’m not talking about from a relational/living together perspective, that’s a couple posts by itself.

Nope, I’m talking about the US Military, the Army more specifically and what I was expecting to happen.

It’s no big secret that we’re at war, and regardless of your feelings on the matter, I’ll say that I was and still am a big supporter of the intentions of this war. I may not agree with all of the goings on, but then again, the media isn’t necessarily a trustworthy source, and I don’t have to be the one to make the decisions.

Anyway, I remember being strong in the years leading up to marriage, absolutely sure that husband would get deployed and being absolutely fine with it.

Isn’t it funny how you think you know how you’d handle a particular situation that you’re not even in?

I think so.

The funny, or maybe ironic thing is that he’s not even being sent to Iraq. He’s not even being sent to a combat zone for that matter, but when I heard the news it was as if someone had punched me swiftly in the stomache.

They’re taking my husband away from me for a little over a year, so why does it really matter where they’re taking him to? Ok, maybe that’s not entirely true as I don’t necessarily have the added stress of him being in danger 24/7, but you get the point.

I was ready. I was strong. I was prepared.

And yet, I wasn’t.

There is no amount of preparation that can be done to help cope with the fact that you will be separated from the one you love for any amount of time, much less a year.

There are positives, but they don’t really outweigh the negatives for me right now.

I’m also really struggling with the fact that we’re such a “young” married couple and still have so much to learn about one another and it’s just going to get postponed.

I wonder why this had to happen to me and find that I’m questioning God daily as to what I’m supposed to take away from this life lesson.

Can you imagine how I’d feel if he were being sent to Iraq?

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5 Responses to “they knocked me out even though I saw ’em coming”


  1. 1 mamadoggylove March 13, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    Being separated from a loved one is never easy – even if you’re semi-prepared – so I think that everything you’re feeling is so normal. I know I would have all the same thoughts and questions if I were in the same boat.

    Wishing you peace of mind…

  2. 2 lifelemons March 14, 2007 at 6:22 am

    I can’t imagine being away from Tom for over a year, but then again I don’t think we would ever have a reason.

    You know that I’ll be there for you even though it isn’t the same thing.

    I wasn’t really surprised he is being sent off, he had A LOT of training last year. What I was surprised about was how I was sad. Imagine that my enemy is out of the way and I care ;-). Only kidding.

    Don’t worry God will carry you both through all of this and for now cherish the time you have together.

  3. 3 pinkrawkstar March 14, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    I very much admire your strength. I have no idea how I would handle your situation and my thoughts are with you big time!

  4. 4 dcrmom March 15, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    I honestly cannot imagine being separated that long. I am so, so, so sorry.

  5. 5 houkhouse March 19, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    I can tell you were prepared and strong. Those things don’t remove emotion. You can be all that and terribly sad at the same time. What a difficult situation. Thoughts and prayers to you.


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