anyone need an admin?

I’m scared y’all.

Real scared.

Turns out, my management wasn’t kidding back in, like, July when they told me my position was going to be phased out. I mean, really, who would want to get rid of me? (I’m a peach huh?)

Anyway, it’s really happening. As of January 31st, I will be on a severance package, (it’s kind of cool yo, I mean, getting paid for not working) which is technically like being unemployed. I mean, this severance doesn’t last forever.

So now, oh dear, sweet, internets, I need you! Well, to find me a job at least. You know you need an admin/personal assistant/dog walker/nanny. You know you want me to be the person you hire.

Here is a list of my qualifications:

1. I’m super-cool. ‘Nuff said.

2. I’m really good with computers and stuff. Really. Like, Microsoft office ain’t got nuthin on me!

3. I’m the eldest of five children. (see nanny)

4. There isn’t much I’m not willing to do for a buck. I gotta pay rent you see, so if you need me to plant flowers, walk your dog/pick up his poop, mow your lawn, dress your kids, shave your back, I’ll do it! I swear!

5. I’m pretty. While this may not seem like much, let me fill you in on a little secret: it is. Who wants a raggedy, wrinkly, old secretary? That’s not how they do it in the movies, and that’s not how you should do it either. You’re better than that.

6. I spent a lot of time on my resume. This shows my dedication. I’m not really sure how else this fits, I just thought I should throw that in there.

7. I’m married, so I won’t try to steal your spouse from you.

8. I’m responsible. Seriously, I’m an old soul. I’ve never acted my age. I mean, in the good sense. What 22 year old do you know that isn’t lumped up on a couch somewhere after getting smashed at some frat party?

9. I’m really friendly. I’m even good at being nice to people I don’t even like. Heck, I might not like you and you just don’t know it!

10. I really need a job. That is a qualification, because would you need me if I didn’t?

So hire me, k? I’d be like a super-great addition to your family/corporation/bank/law firm/life.

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4 Responses to “anyone need an admin?”


  1. 1 lifelemons January 3, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    That really sucks! I hope you are able to find a job soon! Good luck and I’ll let you know if I see or hear anything.

  2. 2 girlymama January 3, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    you’ll be FINE! we’re praying for you – that god will provide an AMAZING job for you!

    meanwhile, we can hang out ;-)

  3. 3 Emily January 4, 2007 at 11:12 am

    Whoa! I could totally use a nanny/personal shopper/occasional maid! Wanna come work for me? You could even spend all summer at my mom’s pool with Micah! Sound good? Not to mention, you could listen to all my rants and tell me that I’m right. I would pay BIG MONEY for that!

    Anyway, I will pray that God would show you exactly where he wants you to work, and that you would enjoy your severance :-)

    In the meantime, let me talk to Scott…

  4. 4 fancythis January 4, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Awesome!!!! Thanks so much. And, I wouldn’t allow me too much time with Micah, he’s so cute, I might just steal him!
    I’m trying to get a job DURING my severance so that I have 2 paychecks coming in at the same time!!! Work the system!


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