How Can I Keep From Singing?

Ah, the joys of high-school.

Rushing hormones, cracking voices.

Music programs.

My sister’s school had their annual Holiday Music Program last night. She goes to a pretty large public high-school, so while I’m pretty sure that the government has all but taken away their funding for anything artistic, they should receive some supplementation from the booster club.

This is what I assumed. What do they say about that? Assuming? Break the word down or something?

Anyway.

They do have a booster club, but I’m pretty sure the president of said club is a crooked politician who pockets at least 3/4 of their earnings. Well, the earnings of the chorus. The band was decent.

My sister is a soprano 1. I know, exciting right? I mean my voice is so deep sometimes, it scares even me. But my sister is a soprano 1. Did I mention that her voice is almost as deep as mine? But she’s a soprano 1. That’s apparently a high soprano. Her teacher insists that this is her niche in the chorus world. Remember my earlier reference to the booster club president?  I think the money he’s pocketing is the salary for this poor chorus instructor. Meaning, they just found a person who was willing to deal with snotty, hormonal teenagers as an aside to her normal day job.

On a good day, my sister isn’t a low soprano. She can sing. I’m not questioning her talents. I just think they should be used more appropriately.

But back to the concert. As you can imagine, since she was able to misjudge my sister’s abilities, she wasn’t so accurate with the other students either. Her prized all-boys Voice Students all sing in the same tone: flat. Some of them would try every now and then to be tenors and harmonize with those who were attempting to sing bass, but most of the time they all sang the same key.

Speaking of harmony, isn’t that an important skill to learn in any chorus? I mean, your whole class shouldn’t be singing in the same key should they?

Note to self: Apply for this job, you’re a shoe-in.

Note to anyone with musical knowledge beyond that of someone without any: Apply for this job, you’re a shoe-in.