I Need a Moment Here

One of the reasons I started this blog was to be able to “vent”. Now’s where I’ll take advantage of that opportunity once again.

My very best friends H has difficulty conceiving. She has what is known as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This is not a fertility issue, it’s much bigger than that, but one of the negative side affects is the impact on her ability to conceive.

Now, while I understand that their are different levels to every friendship, I also believe that when it comes to something like this, it’s important to look into whatever it is that affects a friend if nothing more than to understand how this may impact them. H has had some difficulty in this area. Her parents are supportive of her, as is her husband and a couple of friends (really just E and I) but for one reason or another, others around her aren’t as supportive as they need to be. This includes a friend of hers from work. Keep in mind, that lately, it seems that everyone around her is getting pregnant. (her sister-in-law, spitefully, this friend from work, even people I work with)

Her friend at work is N. N and H have been working together for quite some time now and it seems as though they have a pretty decent friendship. When H decided to share with some of her work friends her difficulty in getting pregnant and how she was still trying, N dropped the bomb that she was going to start trying as well. Of course, she got pregnant almost instantly, and this was veryhard on H. Even still, H continued to press on and start sharing with N some of the side affects and problems associated with PCOS.

About 2 months later, something devastating happened. N lost her baby. It was a terrible time and H was very upset for her.

During the recovery period, however, H and N were discussing some about her PCOS when N very much belittled H’s pain by saying that “It’s better not to be able to have a baby than to have one and lose it.” Talk about a punch to the stomach. It seemed as though N had never really cared much about the devastation that H experiences regularly.

This was confirmed when in a recent conflict between H and N, H had to basically break down PCOS for N for the 2nd time as though N had never heard it before. Even though she had.

I just don’t understand these types of people. It frustrates that someone that I care about very much has to endure additional pain caused by people that don’t care to know what it is that plagues her. Especially when she is so caring and supportive herself. I hope that you, dear reader, would take the additional time necessary to “investigate” something that affects your family and friends.

Knowledge is the key to truly being able to fully support someone.

To learn how to make donations to PCOS Association, go here.

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4 Responses to “I Need a Moment Here”


  1. 1 girlymama September 22, 2006 at 11:33 am

    my co-teacher has a lot of trouble conceiving while working at a preschool where everyone was pregnant. (seriously, more than half the teachers!) so i remember it being sooo hard for here when another teacher announced she was pregnant. she would say, “i wish it was me announcing that.” it was so hard to be pregnant in front of her! and its not like saying, ‘look, i didn’t plan this’ would make her feel better. its hard to know when you should just act normal – like its not a big deal and she wanted to be treated normally – or when to hold back and not say anything.
    plus, i’ll say it before and i’ll say it again, so many people are so so so so stupid and clueless. no cure for that, i’m afarid.

  2. 2 Vanessa September 22, 2006 at 2:55 pm

    My cousin had PCOS… it was extremly painful for her. I hope your friend gets well, soon.

  3. 3 ohthedrama September 22, 2006 at 5:06 pm

    I’m back!

  4. 4 lifelemons September 22, 2006 at 5:13 pm

    I’m back, for real this time!


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