I think it has officially hit me. Like a ton of bricks.
I’m. Getting. Married.
Me. The person who’s mother still has to tell her to clean her room. The person who still feels better after cuddling with daddy. The person who’s always been taken care of her entire life by someone else.
And now I have to care for myself and another. I have to go grocery shopping, my mom can’t do it for me. I have to make dentist appointments and doctor appointments. I have to do laundry. I have to be a real, live, grownup. No fooling around this time, this is it.
Let’s face it, I had it great. I’m not a complete idiot. I can do laundry, I can clean, I’m certainly capable of picking up a phone and making an appointment. It’s not that that’s getting to me. It’s that I can’t rely on anyone now to actually get it done. I have to do it. Me. Not my mom anymore. Me. ME! ME!!!
What if I mess up? What if L thinks I’m a complete moron and can’t do anything right? What if I burn his dinner? What if I forget to tell him about his doctor appointment? What if I permanently change the color of his white t-shirts?
Does anyone else worry about this stuff or am I just a sissy?
I know marriage is a partnership, and L is more than capable of helping out with these things. And I know he will. It’s just that, I’ve taken on as my personal responsibility to be the “housewife”. I’ll primarily be the chef, and I’ll do most of the cleaning (because, let’s face it, it just ain’t right If I didn’t do it ;). I just want him to be happy and not wish every night that we were eating dinner at my parents house because I am a terrible cook.
Is this normal?
sunny side of life 
you will be FINE!!
if it makes you feel better, when i got married:
– i could barely cook. i will never live down calling mom that first month to ask her how to bake a potato.
– i found a PEN in the dryer along with a load of whites. everything in there was covered with baked on ink.
– locked myself out of the apartment TWICE
– and was an emotional mess, since my dad died right after we were married. so husband had to deal with things like this:
husband: “smells good. what’s for dinner?”
me: “waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
or
husband: “what day is it?”
me: “SOB!”
so, don’t worry. you’ll get the hang of things. and you will still be taken care of — by your husband. you’ll still have someone to cuddle, remind you of things and help you out. he’s learning too and you’ll figure it out together.
marriage is great. you guys are great. you’re gonna love being married!! trust me ;-)
Thanks! I know I like to make a big deal out of EVERYTHING….What can you do. Good perspective on the being taken care of by the husband thing. Never thought of it like that.
I don’t mean to be rude, but have you never lived away from home? How old are you? I’m just curious because these worries seem sort of, well, juvenile. I’ve been doing my own laundry, cooking my own dinner and cleaning my own apartment for about six years now. I feel pretty competent in these areas. I’m 28 and, in considering marriage, I’m more concerned with knowing how to negotiate finances, arguments, children, etc. Adult stuff. I’d say don’t sweat the small stuff. Try to work out the big things with your guy before they sneak up on you.
I wouldn’t worry so much about all this, it is just going to make you not enjoy the time you have now and you will look back and regret all the “fussing over nothing”, if you will. Don’t lose sight of the big picture you will soon be married and more in love then ever. Just let everything work itself out and go with the flow. Love Ya!
No, Amie, I’ve never lived away from home. I’m 21. And, I do know how to cook, clean, budget and do laundry. I’ve been doing this now for, oh I don’t know, 11 years. I’m the eldest of 5 children and while this doesn’t necessarily qualify me for motherhood, I think I’ll be doing ok. Obviously, I’m not going to put ALL of my personal business out there, and the things that really hit me hard in preparation for marriage. But I would like to point something out. You’ve been living on your own for 6 years, which means since you were 22 you’ve been doing all of those “minor” things on your own. I’m 21 and as I said before have been doing this “housewife” thing for 6 other people (as sort of an “assistant” to my mom) for the past 11 years. It’s just different this time, because it’s marriage, and a totally different dynamic. I’ll be embarking on one of the most important relationships a human being can take on at my young age, so I think I’m a bit ahead of the game, don’t you?
“I’ll do most of the cleaning (because, let’s face it, it just ain’t right If I didn’t do it ;)”
How is it not right?
cest.la.vie,
If you don’t like what I write, don’t read my blog. I know I sure won’t be reading yours.