Yes They’re That Hairy, Stop Staring!

I went to the grocery store last night to pick up “supplies” for the broccoli, chicken alfredo I was making for the family. (which turned out spectacularly if I may say) Because lately I’ve taken to not caring about what people think about the way I look, I left my house in terry-cloth crop pants (sssoooo two years ago) and a log-sleeved white shirt from the Gap. I tell you this because peeking out from the bottom of those pants was the National Forrest of my legs.

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but in preparation for getting my legs waxed I was told that my (leg) hair had to be at least a 1/4 inch long. Disgusting, right? It’s a total bummer because It’s summer time and rather than scare all the people at the local beach away, I’ve taken to just having ultra-white skin. Oh! Did I mention that while it is suggested that the hair be 1/4 inch long I have far surpassed this requirement? Yeah, I have man legs.

So, I’m walking through the store, picking up various items and finally make my way up to the self-checkout line. As I’m standing there waiting, a guy comes up and stands sort of diagonal, about 3 feet behind me. I look back and give the obligatory greeting smile and turn back around. Now, I don’t know about you, but while I’m waiting in line anywhere, I don’t just stand there and look forward. I browse the area. During my browsing process I notice in my peripheral vision that this man is still staring at me, so I turn and look at him. I guess he must have taken a look at the national forrest because he didn’t notice me glancing his way at all. He was steadily staring at my legs with this odd expression on his face that I can only translate into “She doesn’t look like a transvestite….” It’s a good thing I wasn’t wearing a tank top because I think my underarms might have created some competition for my legs. Seriously, am I the only fashion forward person in my general area? Does no one else get waxed? Step into the 21st century people, clearly I’m not the only one doing this.

Soon the person in front of me completed their order and I was able to start checking my stuff out. It’s a good thing too, because I almost forgot that I’ll probably never see that man again. I can’t wait until I’m not hairy anymore, incidents like this are happening more frequently and I can only imagine what the seamstress is going to be thinking tonight at my final dress fitting!

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2 Responses to “Yes They’re That Hairy, Stop Staring!”


  1. 1 OhTheDrama August 22, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    Ok freak, I think you like to traumatize men and small children!

  2. 2 girlymama August 23, 2006 at 2:29 pm

    hey – leave her alone! ;-)

    as a fellow part-italian-but-not-in-a-good-way, i totally understand the hair problem. 1/4 inch hair!? no prob! i just won’t shave the day before :-) brings back memories of my sisters’ not shaving during swim season. man-legs! yeech.


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