cause i’m the best, and i’m the prettiest….

Last night, for the first time ever, I took a Step Class at the Y.

It was one of the best workouts I’ve ever had. If you want to sweat to death, this is the class for you. But boy will you gain some serious stamina if you keep up with it.

That’s not why I told you about the class though.

You know those people who like to be “above” everyone in a room just to boost their self esteem? Like, for example, a moderately pretty girl will hang out with really ugly girls so that she feels like the prettiest when she’s with them.

We had one of those in our class last night.

I named her Stepper Sally. This chick was no joke. She could have easily taken the “level 3″ step class as opposed to the “level 2″ that we were in. In fact she could have instructed the “level 3″ class.

Girlfriend had her step up on 3 raisers (most people didn’t have any or had one) and when the instructor would tell us a certain little move to do, she would fancy it up. She took asking “how high” when your boss tells you to jump to a whole new level.

Instructor says: Turn and step
Stepper Sally: does a double axle

Instructor says: Step up
Stepper Sally: Jumps and squats all in one smooth movement

Instructor says: Tap twice
Stepper Sally: does the River Dance

I mean, it was just ridiculous.

I’m all: step, pant, step, drip sweat, step, cough up a lung. Dude wouldn’t give us a break and kept winking at his star student who, I’m pretty sure, didn’t break a sweat.

The worst was when she would look around the gym just to be sure that she was the besteverstepstudentintheworld. Give me a break. You know she was just thinking “You all wish you were awesome steppers just like me!”

Go up to your Level 3 class Sally, we middle class steppers don’t need you flaunting your talent in front of us. We like being mediocre.

there’s not a whole lot more humbling in life

I remember the first time I ever saw a Smart Car. I literally guffawed. You know what I mean; that sort of obnoxious laughter that comes from a high and mighty place. I mean, who wouldn’t? Just look at the thing:

Yeah.

There was irony in my high and mighty guffawing because, well, I drive a Scion xB. And I don’t even drive one of those cool looking new ones, mine looks like this:

A box.

In my defense, I knew that there was irony. In fact, when I was finally able to breathe again after my extended, and quite loud, bout of guffawing (it’s really a great word, you can’t fault me for using it so frequently) I laugh-choked-exclaimed, “Dude! I’m laughing at what you’re driving, and I drive a freakin’ box!”

Also, it really is just a funny-looking car. Seriously, go have a second look.

And then, (because isn’t there always an “and then”?) today happened.

I was driving to work, minding my own business when I pulled up to a red light. Right there next to me, in the flesh (or plastic and cardboard as it were) was a Smart Car. I looked over at it and chuckled. (seriously, it is really funny looking you guys, look at the picture again) I think chuckling was probably a little mean, but eh, no sense hiding how I feel, right? Well, the driver saw me laugh.

And when the light turned green, he burned me.

I’m not kidding folks, those pot-head-hippie-green people may have something here. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw that little guy kicking some major Nascar butt.

But I’ll probably still have a good old-fashioned guffaw at its expense, because well, you know.

mission: impossible

I hate to even admit this, (actually, I’m realizing at the moment, just how many of you, my readers, already know this, because, well, you see it) but I rarely wear anything besides jeans, a nice shirt, and some cute shoes to church. I do have what I feel are legitimate reasons for this.

Reason #1 – Most skirts/dresses are too stinkin’ short for me.

Did you guys ever watch The Brady Bunch? I did as a child/teen/heck, adult whenever I can catch it on tv, and I remember thinking, whenever Cindy Brady came on-screen with her dresses that were WHOA short, “If she bends over, you’ll be able to see her underwear!” That’s pretty much how the skirt/dress world has been for me, my whole life.

Reason #2 – Dress pants aren’t long enough for me to wear a heal above 2 inches.

And y’all, I can’t even tell you the last time I wore a heel 2 inches or under.

So, jeans it has been. Especially because recently, American Eagle Outfitters started making jeans that come in extra-long length, which to me is like SCORE! I can wear my heels that are over 3 1/2 inches. Of which I own a few. (Hey, I know I’m tall, but my husband is 6′5″ I have a lot of room to work with!)

However, ever year at Easter, I really try hard to look like a girl. Like wear a dress or skirt or something. Remember last year? Girly, right? And oh, the shoes. Shoes are why I buy clothes in the first place.

Anyway, so I am really on a mission to find a cute Easter dress, since I wore a skirt last year. That comes in tall. And I found this:

Ahhhhhh. Ahem.

But, that thing is $130. Pre-married Fancythis would have that thing bought, paid for and chillin’ in her closet waiting for Easter morning. But I’m married now, and we’re saving for a house, yo. I can’t just go shellin’ out $130 for that thing without making sure that my husband won’t have a coronary about it first. But internets, the problem, or impossible mission – if you will, is convincing my husband that it is a GOOD idea to spend $130 on a dress. That our lives just won’t be as fulfilled without it. Furthermore, that I will also need some fabulous shoes (and maybe a purse! and some jewelry!) to make it even more fulfilling.

So help me bring that dress home internets. It needs a place where it will be loved and appreciated.

fun stuff friday – first day of spring!

Ahhhh spring. I’m not sure why, but just knowing that it’s here makes me feel better. I know we’ll have more super-cold weather and rain we won’t really be able to tolerate – and heck, maybe even another snowstorm – but winter is finally over.

I like winter. I like all of the seasons really, I’m just ready for them to be gone once I’ve had enough of them.

So spring.

In honor of spring, this week’s fun stuff friday is dedicated to……

Old Navy Flip-Flops.

I know what you’re thinking. “Really? Flip-flops?”

The answer, my friend, is “Yes! Flip-flops!”

I love ‘em. They come in every color you could ever possibly desire, they’re SO easy to throw on if you have to run out somewhere, and let’s face it, there’s nothing that shows off a fresh pedicure quite like the flip-flop.

The very best part about Old Navy flip-flops is that they’re dirt cheap. Which is actually a good thing, because I have to buy a new pair of white ones every year.

So that’s it for this week’s fun stuff friday – be sure to let me know if you participate!

when i don’t have the words

I’ve been lacking in content lately, but not to worry! My pastor recently wrote an article on the Obama stance on abortion compared with how he campaigned. (because, you know I love a good heated debate)  I really think y’all should check out. Leave me a comment to let me know what you think, but leave him a comment too. I’m sure he’d love to discuss it with you!

apparently, livin’ with me ain’t no picnic either

Internets, something funny happened to me today – something REALLY funny. Something blogworthy.

SO.

I’m not sure why, but the builders of my parents’ house decided that it was a grand idea to have only ONE outlet in the main bathroom upstairs. Like, as in, one plug.

I know, right?! It’s just silly.

So, in the morning, I have to blow-dry AND straighten my hair. I plug my straightener in the bathroom, because there’s just good lighting and lots of mirrors in there. I am then forced to blow-dry my hair somewhere else. (because I like my straightener to get REALLY hot) Typically, I choose my bedroom, because, well, duh. However, I got my hair cut on Tuesday – I know, I didn’t post pictures or blog or anything! – and it’s an even more tapered graduated bob (which, by the way, looks great) than before, so I’ve had to employ the “round-brushing” technique, which sort of requires a mirror. And the electrical outlet in my bedroom isn’t close to a mirror.

Plan B: my sister’s room.

This morning, I plugged my straightener in, got the blow-dryer and made my way into my sister’s room. I got my round brush out and started a-blowin’. After about 5 or so mintues, I glanced over to my sister’s bed and then back at the mirror. “Hmm, that’s strange” I thought, “It looked like Andrea was laying in her bed.”

I looked back over and lo and behold, there was my little sister, home sick and in bed, with a huge smile on her face because she had been waiting FIVE MINUTES for her retarted big sister to realize that she was, in fact, still in bed.

fun stuff friday – 1st edition

So, I’ve been hanging out in the blogging world for a while now, and have noticed a trend. (um, I promise that it has not actually taken me 3 years to notice this, it’s just taken me 3 years to catch up with everyone. So sue me.) If you’re feeling particularly blog-lazy, that’s ok! On any given day, you can participate in one of the following:

Works for me Wednesday
Wordless Wednesday
Throwback Thursday

And other variations thereof. There are many more, i’m sure, but those are the ones that I have noticed to be the most prominent. I could also be wrong, but really, who cares?

So, I’m going to start one. And really, I don’t expect it to go beyond the four walls of this here little blog, but I don’t care, I’m gonna do it.

I introduce to you – FUN STUFF FRIDAY!

Here are the rules: there really aren’t any.

On a weekly basis (well, I’ll try my hardest) I’m going to post fun stuff – this could be something I’ve done that you can do too, something I own that I love and think you should buy, something I want that I think you should buy for me. It’s so versatile! Ok, so let’s get this show on the road.

Today’s fun stuff friday is about my Bose Portable iPod SoundDock.

I will give you a moment to ooh and ahh……

Moment’s over.

Interwebs, I lurve this thing. It has changed the way I listed to music. The sound is just, well, perfection. (that was, in fact, a Friends reference. Bonus points to those who can tell me who said it, and in what episode) It’s so clear, I still can’t believe that the sound is coming out of such a tiny device. Also, the VOLUME. People, this thing can rattle your walls if you want it to. Not that I have ever listened to it so loudly…..ahem. It’s just under a foot tall and about a foot wide. Maybe 5 or 6 inches deep. So it’s super-compact and BONUS, it’s portable! That’s right friends, once fully charged, this bad boy will keep you boppin’ for a good 4-5 hours un-plugged. It’s like miracle music or something.

Anyway, that was our first edition of fun stuff fridays! Wasn’t that so fun?! Now, go buy yourself a Bose Portable SoundDock, and let me know what you think of it.

Also, YOU should participate in fun stuff friday – and if you do, make sure you let me know in the comments!

we are not color-blind

So I shamelessly say, no, I want him to fail, if his agenda is a far- left collectivism, some people say socialism, as a conservative heartfelt, deeply, why would I want socialism to succeed?

Rush Limbaugh on Obama’s Success – Hannity, Fox News

With the economy falling deeper into the pit and the American Dream becoming a distant memory, I have become increasingly aggitated with the government, and more so, with the people of this country who’ve put some of these jokers in place.

I’m tired of hearing about the historical importance of our current President. In fact, I couldn’t care less about it. Whatever happened to judging a man, not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character? That statement works both ways.  A man shouldn’t NOT be voted in because of the color of his skin, but he shouldn’t be voted in just because of it either.

I believe that’s what happened, and I believe it will be the death of this great nation.

He has no basic understanding of what made this nation great. If he did, he wouldn’t be handing more power over to the government.

He has no basic understanding of economics. If he did, he wouldn’t be putting money into that very same government, but he would be giving money to the American people by cutting taxes, which is the largest economy booster. Just look at what Reagan did.

He’s already broken a ridiculous amount of campaign promises, and, even more infuriating is that he has more than doubled our nation’s deficit – something for which he was extremely critical of President Bush.

Obama will destroy this nation by taking the power away from the people. One of our founding fathers said it best:

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes… A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world. I predict future  happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. -Thomas Jefferson

See, racism never got us anywhere as a nation. But guilt isn’t doing us any good either.

You should check out this clip from Howard Stern’s show. Apparently, it just proves my theory that we were not a color-blind people in this election. Also, it’s pretty stinkin’ hilarious.